How to help your child to control his aggressive behaviour.

Is your child aggressive ? Does he hit or bite or throws things when he gets angry or for  any other reason which you don't understand. 
Everytime a kid throws a tantrum, it becomes difficult to handle her or him especially in public place or infront of relatives or friends, it becomes an embarrasing situation. Often these kids are labelled as naughty kids by everyone. But these kids need to be handle with care and love.


Most kids stop their aggressive behaviour after the preschool ends or as they grow up but some kids continue their aggressive behaviour as they grow up. It is very difficult and embarrasing for the parent  of such child as they get lot of complaint about the child from his school and other parents. 


It is important to understand your child first, his behaviour and what triggers him for such behaviour. Always take actions with calm mind to make him control his aggressive behaviour. Be in touch with the teacher of your child and have regular talks and discussions with her about his behaviour and what works best for him to stop or overcome such behaviour. While handling such child, few things should be kept in mind to help him control his aggressive behaviour.




Handle him/her with love:

Do not slap or hit him for such behaviour, hug him and talk smoothly. Ask him softly with calm mind about what made him to react like that. After knowing the cause of his anger, make him understand why its wrong to be aggressive or hit or bite somebody.  Tell him the alternate ways he could have behaved in such circumstances by giving him various examples. Assure him that you are always there for him to help if somebody troubles him.




Explain him why aggressive behaviour is not accepted:

Make him understand, how a victim feels because of his aggressive behaviour. Ask him how he feels if somebody is aggressive towards him, the same applys to other also. Slowly make him understand the bad effects of aggressive behaviour and why he should stop behaving like that. Always tell him that good behaviour is praised by everyone and everyone will love him if he acts like good boy/girl.



Show him how to behave in circumstances which trigger agressive behaviour in him/her:

If you know the reasons for your childs aggressive behaviour, show him different ways in which he should have behaved. Explain him the importance of good behaviour and how it help in healthy living in a society. If there is something that triggers such behaviour, tell him to stay away from it or engage in some other activity which makes him happy to distract his mind. Also drinking a glass of water when he get angry will helps him in calming his mind.



Be a role model for your child:

Do not indulge in aggressive behaviour especially in front of your child. Be a role model for your child as the child learns what he sees in his house from his elders. Also your child will point on you for such behaviour when you try to say no to him for such behaviour. So before making a child behave properly, we elders should behave properly in front of them.



Do not hit or punish him/her :

Hitting or punishing your child after his aggressive behaviour will not help him in any way,  as this will make him to learn that hitting and punishing others is only the way to deal with others to get their things done. Make him understand the consequences of such behaviour with calm and cool mind by giving him examples of what is the correct way to behave in such situations.




Eliminate underlying stress or anxiety: 

Some kids may be aggresive due to some underlying stress or anxiety. Have patience and talk to them with love and affection to eliminate their stress or anxiety. Try to know the cause of their anxiety, fear or stress by talking and assuring them that you love and care for them are always there to help them in any situation. Counselling with an expert may help in severe condition of stress and anxiety.




Compliment when a child shows good behaviour:

Always compliment a child for his good behaviour. This makes him happy and encourages him to behave well with others. When your child helps his friends, shows courtesy towards others or does any kind of good behaviour, always compliment and tell him how well he behaves with others and you are really proud of him for his good behaviour. 



Don't remind him of old incident of agressive behaviour:

If he has behaved aggressive in some past incident, don't keep on reminding him about that as this will have a negative impact on him. Let him forget about his aggressive behaviour incidents. Always remind him and praise him of the good behaviour he shows towards others. 



Tell him ways to control anger: 

There are different ways to control anger like meditation, yoga, counting from 1to 10, drinking a glass of water to cool down etc. when he gets angry but for small kids patience, love, understanding is all what is required and you as parent know best about your child needs and what works best for him in calming his mind, so handle him patiently with love and care.



Engage him in some creative activity ot take him out:

Make your child to do some creative activity to get out of that aggressive mood and to keep him engaged like painting, making buiding blocks, some craft activity, dance and music. You can also take him out to the playground to freshen up his mood or to some other palce so that he focuses on some other activity.